The Victory List

Here, I made us a victory list
A roll of triumphs and successes

“No man ever made me orgasm,”
(Straight in at number one I reckon!)
Second, but by no means an ‘also ran’,
“I am mentally stronger than any man”
Followed by, “It is good to hear your voice”
Though in print you can’t feel the put-on noise
Maybe a hint, its personal choice

Fourth of course, I could not draw a horse
But I drew one stupidly, and you laughed and understood me
Well fuck it,
Now I’m searching for malice
And you didn’t have much I guess except
Being self-absorbed and self-set
Furrow lines into forehead left me,
Worried that the real triumph would be
Your tears much bigger than mine
Not now but at nervous breakdown time
When the cliché charades like ‘house of cards’
Suddenly don’t protect you
When that happens I’ll come to your mind
Being the only way to see you again
Unwittingly,
Triumphing nightly, daily
Noon and midnight hours
Without ever having played that game in the first place,
Or saying I’m sorry with flowers.


© 2003 Once and Future Poems